I am so ready to leave my husband, but I don’t want to break up my family and I also have no place to go…I am not going anywhere without Haley and I don’t really have anyone that I can stay with.
Any way, my husband barely helps me with anything at all…he helps sometimes when I ask for it, but only if I ask for it and hardly ever asks if there is anything he can help with. I work full time, go to school full time, our daughter is 13 months amongst all the many other things I handle on a day to day basis…I just can’t take it anymore. My husband and I were both just off for a week at Christmas, we were home the entire time, he did nothing until he finally got the wild idea to clean the garage…otherwise he did nothing but lay on the sofa watching tv. I kept asking him to hook his xbox up to the internet so we could get movies from netflix, big mistake, now he does nothing but play Call of Duty online all the time. He finally got off his duff the other day and hang the baby gate on our stairs after like the 4th time Haley crawled up them.
I’m always running errands, for groceries, toiletries or whatever else we need and yesterday I reminded him to pick up a card for his step moms birthday. Well he went to the army navy surplus store instead for a camoflauge rain poncho. I asked him about it today and he said, why didn’t you get one yesterday when you were at wal-mart. I said because I wasn’t thinking about it and I thought you were getting it. So then he asked me if I was getting it or if he needed to, so I asked him to and then he accused me of being a B$*&@ and told me I owed him $25 for getting my car washed.
I ask him to do one simple thing to help me out and he acts like I’ve screwed up his entire universe. I seriously can’t take this anymore. I don’t want our daughter growing up in a house like this…but I seriously don’t know what to do because I have no place to go…I don’t talk about this to any of my friends because I’m embarrassed about it…
What should I do?
Yep, funny thing is at the end of the card conversation he told me I’m a bad friend and I said you are a bad husband and he said, you’re are going to see me not be a husband anymore starting tonight and I said, and how is that any different from any other night…he never responded back.
Yeah, you’ve obviously never had a conversation with him. Everytime I try to sit down and talk to him when everything is calm, it gets turned around into how much I suck and he ends up telling me that if I don’t like it I can leave, so tell me how I’m being over dramatic!
Actually he slapped me a couple of weeks ago during an argument.
I have asked him to go to counseling before, but he tells me I am the one with the problem and I need the counseling, so now I’m thinking about telling him that unless he comes to counseling with me, I am leaving.
My mom stayed married to my dad for 26 years who was just as lazy as my husband and did nothing to help her and verbally abused her and it ended up killing her in the end. She died of heart disease from all the unnecessary worrying and anxiety…I don’t want to end up like her.
K – I "nagged" him about the card, because he is not grown up enough to remember to do things on his own. He’s always asking me to remind him of this or that…which is what I did. I used to have to wake him up every morning to make sure he wasn’t late for work…see the trend?
K – I am already going to counseling by myself, I went today actually and he said by all means we need to go together and I agree, I just can’t get him to see that…and PS, for once I actually liked your answer. When I first saw your name, I was like oh lord here we go. Thank you for being helpful!
That’s funny Alexia – because I actually had a chair massage this morning. However, my husbands aunt is a massage therapist and she gives me 1 hour massages for free…I might call her up this weekend. Thank you.
K- the respect is so long gone that I don’t remember a time when it was ever even there…everytime I go to him about anything he turns it around and makes it out to be my fault, he’s a great manipulator in that respect…so whenever I mention counseling he says the problem lies within me and that I am the one who needs counseling. I would like to say that I would be heartbroken if something happened to him, but the way I feel today, I just don’t know that that would be the case…I’m just over the petty crap i guess…I’m looking for something more than this.
Oh girlie, I am SO sorry that your husband is such a jerk!
He laid his hand(s) on you. Get out now. I told Andrew if he ever even laid so much as one hand on me out of anger, Id be gone!
Your Husband is a real jerk, seriously. There is no reasoning with him. He blames you for anything and everything that goes wrong. It is never going to change. Why not get out now while Haley is still young enough to not know what’s going on.
Consult an attorney, as the other user has suggested.. Surely you will get alimony & child support and that should be enough to get a nice little apartment for you & Haley.
If he touches you again, by all means.. call the police and press charges on the asshole!